Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Background - Mad Doc Drillteef, D.D.S.

This will be the first in an ongoing (and likely never-ending) series of articles focused on the background of WAAGH! Drillteef.  Each article should be accompanied by a photograph of a character, vehicle, or battle being highlighted.

I can't imagine any other way to start this series off than by presenting to you Mad Doc Drillteef, D.D.S. himself!

About fifty years ago, a Ork named Grubbin emerged from the ranks of brainboyz in WAAGH! Grok (on the Galactic North side of the Eastern Fringe) as a truly talented individual. He wasn’t quite as unstable back then, of course. He was ingenious in his execution of bionik replacement surgery. Wealthy Nobz and even Warbosses from other clans who had joined the WAAGH! paid plenty of teef to subject themselves to Grubbin’s whims. Who in their right minds could pass up over a fifty percent success rate with only a twenty percent mortality rate?

Over time, Grubbin’s averace began to get the better of him. He jealously guarded his collection of teef. He’d spend hours admiring them and sorting them by size, shape, and color. He was so rich that he began to hire bodyguards, his own group of Nobz called the Doc’s Klaws. Grubbin began to research (through trial and error) on how to improve the quality of his customers’ teef.  Many Gretchin gave their lives in the pursuit of these goals.  Also during Grubbin's rise through the brainboy ranks, he became increasingly paranoid of losing his status or being slain in battle.  He began enhancing his performance in battle with combat drugs of all varieties, both looted from Imperial enemies and home-made concoctions.

In time, Grubbin had become quite long-lived thanks to the fact that he was so useful to the bosses, and was wealthy enough to always eat well.  He became quite large and fierce. He began demanding that the Orks in his clan care for their teef in the ways he’d researched. Toof-polishers made from squiggoth hairs and flosses made from squig-guts were required equipment for all. Grubbin soon began collecting fees for his services with a hammer, even in the thick of battle. Fortunately, iron gobs were usually included at no charge. His strangeness was also born from what had become a powerful addiction to all manner of chemical substances.  Grubbin was now a rather habitual abuser of Nitrous Oxide and would often take more pulls from the gas mask during surgery than his patients.

When Grok got wind of the strange behavior coming from the camps surrounding Grubbin, he became enraged. What right did this upstart brainboy have fuddling his boyz’ brains with matters of hygene? It was downright un-orky, it was! What's more, a messenger Grot informed him that some of Grok's underbosses had gone missing near Grubbin's camps.

Grok himself, accompanied by his biggest Nobz, visited Grubbin’s camps where he found three minor Warbosses had been killed that very day, their teef knocked out of their heads.

Grok stomped towards Grubbin’s hut and found him standing outside talking jovially with one of Grok's underbosses, Wagonkrumpa.  By this time, Grubbin was a hulking Ork fitted with the most advanced teknology including a dead-killy drill fit for a Deff Dread where his left hand used to be. There was a mad look in the Grubbin's eyes. Surrounding him were almost thirty nasty-looking Nobz and three Painboy assistants, all grinning with pearly-white teef and bionik implants.  Grubbin took a long, delighted, breath from a face mask attached to a Nitrous tank he had strapped to his back.  "'Ey, boss.  Howz fings?"

The battle was decisive. The Nobz who Grubbin lost in the fight were replaced by the smart Nobz on the other side who turned against their boss when the fighting went bad. In the end, hundreds of boyz watched on with delight as Grubbin drilled into Grok’s quickly-widening eyesocket.  The Doc cackled with glee  as Bone, blood, and meat sprayed. He earned not only the respect of Wagonkrumpa and the rest of the underbosses that day, but also a new name: Mad Doc Drillteef.  The WAAGH! became his!

Today, the WAAGH! has spread mainly in the sparse stars between two spiral arms near the Ultima Segmentum in the Eastern Fringe. The wide variety of opponents (and teef!) is appealing to the still-gathering WAAGH! Their momentum is being fueled by conflict mainly with the Blood Angels Beakies, Ultramarines, and Chaos forces. Although Drillteef has had skirmishes with the Fish’eads, the WAAGH! generally gives the Tau a wide berth. It is whispered that the Tau have negotiated a deal with Drillteef, promising him teef he would otherwise be unable to collect. Judging by the Mad Doc’s previous weird behavior, this is probably likely.

WAAGH! Drillteef has been marching to the galactic south, threatening Ultramar and various hive fleets by a few hundred lightyears. Although this is too close for comfort, the Ultramarines and Tyranids have bigger fish to fry, namely each other.

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