Friday, February 15, 2013

Disgusted and Appalled at Games Workshop




In our lives we often take stances that can seem odd or even subversive to others. Sometimes we do this in order to further a righteous cause or possibly because it just plain makes good sense. We are driven to these heights by a sense of justice and integrity. Today I was shocked by Games Workshop, a company I've grown to admire and throw, in great handfulls, all manner of dead presidents at. I have been waiting with bated breath for the release of the new Fliers supplement. I didn't care how dated the material was. I knew I was going to be getting rehashed content re-packaged in a supplement. I thought it was worth me throwing down up to four Hamiltons in order to make this purchase so that I could more easily run my Stormtalons and Dakkajets, all told two and one quarter Benjamins (before discount, of course... I'm not CRAZY). Imagine my SURPRISE and SHOCK and OTHER EMOTIONS of all NEGATIVE VARIETIES when I read the description of the book on their website.


There are rules for using the Stormraven Gunship with a Codex: Space Marines and Black Templars army; updated rules for the range of Warhammer 40,000 Flyer models, including new bestiary and army list entries for the following codexes: Black Templars, Blood Angels, Dark Eldar, Grey Knights, Imperial Guard, Necrons, Orks and Space Marines.

I'm sure you've seen it. I'm sure you saw what I saw. I'll narrow it down for you


for the following codexes: Black Templars, Blood Angels, Dark Eldar, Grey Knights, Imperial Guard, Necrons, Orks and Space Marines.

I'll narrow it down for you:


Orks and Space Marines.

Interesting, isn't it, how Beakies and Orks aren't separated by an important and TIME-HONORED symbol of RIGHTEOUS grammar... the OXFORD COMMA! What are they implying by omitting this essential mark, this holy tick, this scratch of meaning where it ought to be, where a vacant space now stares back at us like the maw of the Eye of Terror itself?

Are they implying, somehow, that Beakies and Orks are meant to be TOGETHER in some foul soupy mixture of weakness and strength? Are we to be lumped together in one, clearly psychopathic, Codex in the future? Does it include advanced rules for playing Orks and Beakies as allies?

I spit upon such notions. I spit upon these rules partially because I am enraged and partially because I have not seen them yet and they are clearly TERRIBLE!

Games Workshop, you have wounded me. You have wounded me and the injury shall likely prove fatal to our relationship.


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